


Spiral

by Dancingqueen17



Series: Tales of Suicidal Superheroes [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Self-Harm, Tony Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 09:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21318199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingqueen17/pseuds/Dancingqueen17
Summary: In hindsight Tony should have seen it comingit was getting bad again
Series: Tales of Suicidal Superheroes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509185
Kudos: 32





	Spiral

Everything was so cold. 

so

very

cold. 

The metal of his suit was cold. The wind whipping in his face was cold. But most importantly his hands were cold. They had once held a body. 

A warm body. 

Peter's body. 

But then he disappeared. And so did all his warmth. Every last ounce of it was drained from his body. He had lost Peter. He had failed.

Failure

Failure 

Failure

Tony had never seen May cry before. She assured him that it wasn't his fault. But he knows it is. They couldn't even have a funeral. After all there was no body to bury. Why did he always mess things up.

Worthless 

Worthless

Worthless

Pepper didn't talk to him much anymore. In fact she had gone to the beach house for awhile. She just needed some time. That's what she told him. He knew she just wanted to get away from him. He was a disease. He hurt all those around him.

He started drinking again. Playing a game with himself to see how many drinks it took to forget. 

1

2

10

It didn't matter. He could always still feel his guilt. He didn't want to feel anything anymore. So he tried anything he could find. Pills, Drugs, Scotch. It was all the same to him. It was never enough. He always kept going, until he blacked out. Until he was truly done. And when he woke up, he could see why everyone leaves him. 

Sometimes he could feel Howards hands on him. Hitting him. Punching him. Hurting him. He wonders if he deserves it. Natasha once told him he was a tornado. Destroying everything in its path. All he did was destroy things.

Destroy

Destroy

Destroy

So he did what he did best, and destroyed himself. He starved and cut until he could feel the pain he caused other people. And maybe, just maybe, if he was sorry enough everyone would come back.


End file.
